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Dysfunctional Families: Types And Effects

What Is A Dysfunctional Family?

A dysfunctional family is one that has at its core destructive and harmful parenting and a lack of concern for the child. The harmful effects on the child may go completely unacknowledged or be minimized. Often, little or nothing is done to rectify the situation nor to alleviate its adverse effects upon the child.

If the distress caused to the child is severe and long-lasting s/he may develop a psychiatric condition such as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which, if not properly treated, may seriously adversely affect the rest of his/her life.

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Above: Family members are often unconsciously assigned particular roles.

Types Of Dysfunctional Family :

1) A family in which the mother and/or father are addicted to drugs or alcohol (or who have another psychological addiction).

This may lead to the parent passing out, going missing for extended periods of time, behaving unpredictably, getting out of control or causing the family severe financial hardship.

Children who grow up in such families tend to grow up into distrustful adults who see others as being essentially unreliable.

2) A family in which violence and volatility predominates. Children from such families are at risk of becoming violent and volatile themselves, not least as a result of learned behavior.

3) A family in which the child is forcibly removed from the parents’ care (e.g. due to bring taken into care or being sentenced to a period of juvenile detention).

4) A family in which the child is used as a ‘pawn’ (e.g. divorcing parents each trying to turn the child against the other parent). This may include speaking ill of the other parent, limiting the child’s contact with the other parent, preventing the child from seeing the other parent at all or coercing them into rejecting a parent when this is not in the child’s interest.

5) A family in which a parent has a mental illness that adversely impinges upon the child’s own emotional development

6) A family in which the child is overly controlled and a parent makes excessive use of their power.

Adverse Effects Upon The Child :

Apart from the adverse effects upon the child already mentioned, children brought up in such dysfunctional families are also at risk of developing many other problems and difficulties, including depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, irrational self-blame and self-hatred, alcohol and/or drug dependency, an impaired, or even ruined, ability to both give and receive love.

Furthermore, the child may become rebellious and start to behave in anti-social ways eg. getting into fights, vandalizing property, indulging in petty theft,  committing arson, bullying others, dropping out of school.

They may also start behaving self-destructively, self-harm, develop life-long problems with interpersonal relationships, have an elevated risk of attempting suicide as well as lower life expectancy. Also, if they become parents themselves, they may develop their own parenting problems, thus perpetuating the dysfunctional family cycle.

Dysfunctional families which lead to the child having to take on the role of carer (e.g. before I was a teenager I cared for my mentally unstable mother after the divorce of my parents) can put the child under extreme stress as s/he does not have the emotional maturity to cope. Such children, in effect, have their childhoods ‘stolen’ from them. For more on this, see my article about parentification‘.

Children may also attempt to cope with the enormous stress of growing up in a dysfunctional family by becoming withdrawn.

Compounding this problem, very sadly, they may become the victims of bullies at school due to their vulnerability.

As a result of this, they may grow up to be ‘loners.’

Some children who grow up in abusive households may be at higher risk than average of becoming abusive themselves as adults without the intervention of effective therapy.

eBook :

emotional abuse book

Above eBook now available on Amazon for instant download. Click here. (Other titles available).

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

BPD : Effects Of Biparental Dysfunction and Invalidation

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The most up-to-date research into the causes of borderline personality disorder (BPD) indicates that the following two factors are especially likely to put an young person at risk of developing BPD in later life. These are :

1) Biparental dysfunction – in essence, this means that their is an enduring, seriously problematic relationship between the young person and both his/her parents; in particular, those who go on to develop BPD are most likely to have had :

a) a mother who was emotionally distant or, secondly, was overprotective, or, thirdly, a mother with whom the relationship involved a high level of conflict

b) a father who was emotionally distant and generally uninvolved in the young person’s life (click here to read my article on the effects of uninvolved parents)

2) The painful experiences of the individual who goes on to develop BPD have been invalidated by his parents/caregivers (i.e, dismissed, ignored, denied or minimized).

Furthermore, it is frequently found in those who go on to develop BPD that :

–  had a member of their family who had problems relating to drugs and/or alcohol

– had  a member of the family who had a mood disorder

– were neglected

– had minimal supervision (again, my article on uninvolved parents is relevant here)

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RESEARCH IN SUPPORT OF THE ABOVE :

A very powerfully supporting research study of the above was conducted by Zanarini. He found that 84% of those who had been diagnosed with BPD reported that they had experienced seriously problematic/dysfunctional relationships with both parents, and emotional abuse, before they reached the age of eighteen years.

Also, he also found a very significant proportion of BPD sufferers had had their distressing emotional experiences invalidated by their parents or caregivers. For example, if, as a result of his/her painful experiences, the young person developed problematic behaviours, this would tend to be attributed to the young person’s ‘badness’ rather than to the psychological damage done to him/her by the abuse s/he had suffered or to the dysfunctional relationship with the parents. In effect, then, the young person is made ill and then blamed for the symptoms of that illness by the very people (his/her parents or caregivers) who contributed to it and were supposed to protect him/her.

THE EXTREMELY DAMAGING EFFECT OF INVALIDATION :

This invalidation, by the parents or caregivers, of the deeply painful experiences the young person has suffered and of their effects may, according to recent research carried out by Horwitz, be even more damaging to the psychological well-being of the individual who experienced the childhood trauma than even the effects of the trauma itself.

In other words, parents/caregivers who significantly emotionally damage their children, and then deny they have done so, are especially likely to find these children go on to develop BPD in later life.

BPD_eBook

 

Above eBook now available for immediate download on Amazon. CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS (Other titles in same series also available).

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE)