Tag Archives: Avoidant Attachment

‘Avoidant’ Parenting And Its Possible Effects

avoidant attachment

We have seen from other posts that I have published on this site that we develop different kinds of attachment styles as we grow up which depend upon how stable and secure our early life relationship with our primary caretaker (usually the mother) was. In simplified terms, if this early life relationship WAS secure and stable we are likely to develop a SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE as we get older and pass through adolescence to adulthood; however, if it WAS NOT, we are likely to develop an INSECURE

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Effects of Lack of Emotional Security in Childhood.

lack of emotional security

Lack Of Emotional Security

Children who grow up in emotionally secure environments are likely to develop good emotional regulation (control) in later life and are unlikely to develop significant anti-social personality traits (characteristics). However, when there is a lack of emotional security and the environment is hostile, the child will tend develop ‘avoidant attachment’ with the parent/s or carer/s (ie avoid interaction with them where possible) and is likely to become aggressive (especially if male – Renken et al, 1989). This is especially likely if the parents are often angry (either with each other or with the child).

In this situation, the child will generalize from his experiences and come to see others as hostile and likely to reject him/her. Also, because s/he is dependent upon the parents s/he will often be unable to fully express the true level of his/her anger towards them so will tend to lessen it by avoiding contact with them. This avoidant behavior, then, is not genetic, but a learned defensive response.

Once the child has learned this response, and both defensiveness and expectation of harsh

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