Why Do Some Parents Publicly Shame Their Children?

774-word article I remember when I was very young, perhaps 4 or 5 years old, my mother would shame me in public for anything i did that she considered a transgression, by threatening to take down my trousers and spank me. This would have been in the 1970s when attitudes towards child maltreatment were more …

The Antilibidinal Ego: Self-Protection Following Trauma

If as a child we suffer severe interpersonal trauma in the form of rejection by a primary-carer or similar experience,  a part of us may ‘split off’ (dissociate) and act as our protector in order to prevent us from becoming the victim of yet further psychological damage. Fairbairn referred to this dissociated part of ourselves …

Adult Loneliness Linked To Childhood Trauma And Feelings Of Shame

Statistics Relating To Loneliness : About one in twenty (i.e. 5%) of the adult population reports feeling lonely ‘often’ or ‘always’; 16% reported feeling lonely ‘sometimes’ ; and 24% reported feeling lonely ‘occasionally’ (2016-2017). Those who have low levels of trust for people living in their locality report feeling lonely more often. Of all the …

Childhood Trauma, The Shame Loop And Defenses Against Shame

Feelings of shame can be excruciatingly painful; at their worst, they can cause us to completely isolate ourselves so that we avoid contact with others to the extent that we may become virtual recluses, perhaps only daring to venture out of our house or flat when absolutely necessary. Indeed, the word ‘shame‘ derives from the Indian …

Three Unconscious Defenses Against Inner Feelings Of Shame

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According to psychodynamic theory, if, as babies, we are subjected to significant emotional abuse by the primary caregiver (usually the mother) such as constantly being subjected to her extreme anger, rage, and hostility, we are at risk of developing a profound and pervasive sense of inner shame – the unshakeable inner conviction that we are …

Shame Caused By Childhood Trauma, How We Try To Repress It And Health Effects

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Effects Of Repressed Shame : We have seen in other articles published on this site that if we have experienced significant childhood trauma we may, as adults, develop profound feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, self-hatred, rock-bottom self-esteem, feelings of being ‘innately bad’ and irrational self-blame for what we experienced. This pernicious brew of feelings about the …

False Core Beliefs : Their Childhood Roots

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  By the time we are adults, most of us have developed entrenched, deeply rooted, fundamental beliefs about ourselves. Psychologists refer to these as our CORE BELIEFS. Once established, they can prove very difficult to change without the aid of therapeutic interventions (such as cognitive behavioural therapy, or CBT). A traumatic childhood, especially one that …

Overcoming Guilt Caused by Childhood Trauma

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If we have been mistreated as children, we may well grow up with a pervasive feeling that we are irredeemably ‘bad’ people (click here to read my article on why this happens). This can lead to what has been termed ‘neurotic guilt’ ; this occurs when we feel a sense of shame about ourselves and …