The Trauma of Growing Up as a Gay Adolescent


I remember my step-mother telling me, shortly after I had spent five days in a coma on life support due to a suicide attempt, that I should not be gay as it ‘offended god’ and ‘it was obvious he had only created men and women to physically fit together, not men and men or women and women.’

She was a religious fundamentalist; for example, she shouted at me in ‘tongues’ (ie gobbledygook’) when I was thirteen, a few weeks after my highly unstable mother, who I’d been personally tenderly counselling for a couple of years, threw me out of her house.

She also attended cultish church meetings, e.g. ‘Laughter of the Lord Sessions’, in which members of the congregation ‘taken over by the holy spirit’ would roll around on the floor of the church hysterically laughing (TRUE – St Andrews Church, Chorleywood, Herts, UK during the 1980s) and made my father drive two hundred miles to see a ‘faith healer’ when he was dying of cancer, then carried out her blackmail threat by walking out on him because he refused to stop seeing me, her ‘evil’ (i.e. severely mentally ill) step-son.

He died shortly afterwards.

Take it from me, then : I know what it’s like to grow up knowing, everyday, that you’re not only despised, but thought of as deserving to ‘burn in hell’.

Thanks to people like my step-mother, who are the fertile soil of out of which wider public hostility and aggression against gay people grows and flourishes, many gay teenagers, even today, still commit suicide.

In my next post, I will explain reasons that have been put forward to explain this tragic phenomenon.

David Hosier BSC Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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About David Hosier MSc

Holder of MSc and post graduate teaching diploma in psychology. Highly experienced in education. Founder of Survivor of severe childhood trauma.

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