Reframing The Past : How To Reframe Traumatic Memories

“Instead of saying, “I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues” say “I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.”
― Horacio Jones


Many of us who have experienced significant and protracted childhood trauma have, as adults, suffered from the inadvertent internalization of our parents’ (or caretakers’) attitude and feelings towards us as we were growing up and, as a result, may have come to develop deeply painful core beliefs about ourselves; commonly, these beliefs revolve around a deeply entrenched self-concept of being ‘unlovable’ and ‘bad’, particularly if we were rejected (either explicitly or implicitly).

Compounding this problem, for reasons I have explained elsewhere, we may have idealized our parents – even if we were badly abused by them, making our internalization of their damaging attitudes and behaviours even more unshakable and tenacious.

One way we may be able to address our fixation upon these debilitating, self-lacerating ideas about ourselves, instilled in us when we were profoundly vulnerable, and to free ourselves from the feelings of torment they induce, is by REFRAMING THE PAST.


Reframing the past involves giving ourselves the power to see our true potential, unsullied by what our parents (either deliberately or as a function of their lack of sensitivity/insight) might have taught us to believe (e.g. that we are worthless and unacceptable as a human being).

In so doing, we can potentially be free from viewing ourselves through the distorted lens we have so far, through no fault of our own and as if hypnotized by an evil mesmerist, gaze through.

In this way, we can hopefully start to see what we may really be able to achieve in important areas of life, such as relationships and work. opening up opportunities for ourselves that may otherwise have been denied us.


According to the psychiatrist, Harold Bloomfield, author of the excellent book: ‘Making Peace With The Past‘, whilst we are obviously impotent to change the past, what we are able to do is to change how we experience it, our attitude to it, and how it emotionally affects us from now on by changing our (hitherto) habitual response to it.

In relation to this, Bloomfield advises us to reinterpret the implications of the traumatic events of our childhood by asking ourselves questions such as how the experiences have made us stronger and what wisdom we have gained from them.

Indeed, there is a whole field of study devoted to investigating how traumatic experiences can actually, ultimately, improve us as an individual called posttraumatic growth.

Free Reframing Ebook

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE). is reader-supported. When you buy through links on this site, I may earn an affiliate commission.