Tag Archives: Narcisstic Sadistic Parents

Sadistic-Narcissistic Parents And Their Effects

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Sadistic-narcissistic parents need to feel superior to others and maintain power and control over them.

In order to achieve this end, s/he is willing to inflict pain upon others, most frequently emotional and psychological pain, but sometimes physical pain too.

Sadistic-narcissistic parents will frequently be prepared to inflict such pain on his/her own children in order to maintain power and control over them. This sometimes involves scapegoating one child (usually the most sensitive and vulnerable) whilst largely sparing the more favoured/psychologically tougher child. This more favoured child may sometimes join with the sadistic-narcissistic parent in scapegoating the more vulnerable child.

Indeed, it was my own misfortune to experience such a malignant and poisonous alliance between my own mother and older brother, which I have referred to elsewhere so will not repeat here (to read my article on how the child can become the family scapegoat, click here).

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The infliction of psychological and emotional pain upon the child by the sadistic-narcissistic parent may include:

– humiliating him/her (eg cruel and derogatory name-calling, palpably motivated by spite)

– threats of abandonment and total rejection

– ignoring him/her in a vindictive manner for protracted periods of time in order to intensify the child’s feelings of insecurity and of being unwanted

– saying to the child ‘I wish you’d never been born’



Dealing With Narcisstic Behaviour hypnotherapy MP3: click here for more details


 

At the risk of sounding self-indulgent, all of the above were frequent occurrences in my own childhood, it feels me with pain to report.

The sadistic-narcissistic parent is able to behave in this extraordinary and shocking manner as s/he feels no empathy with his/her children and is sadly devoid of, or severely deficient in, feelings of normal parental protectiveness, love and affection.

Furthermore, after behaving towards his/her children in such a way, the sadistic-narcissistic parent will feel little or no genuine remorse, but, instead, justify and rationalise his/her behaviour by telling him/ herself, as well as others, that the child ‘deserved’ it and ‘brought it upon themselves’. And, whilst it may sound like parody, s/he may actually blame the child for ‘making [him/her] behave that way.’

The psychologist, Vaknin, an expert in this field, has put forward the theory that the sadistic-narcissistic parent behaves in this way to gain ‘narcisstic supply’ ( the word ‘supply’ here refers to the feeding of the sadistic-narcissistic parent’s ferocious and insatiable hunger for power and control) or to punish those who have previously provided him/her with such narcisstic supply but have stopped being sufficiently ( in the view of the sadistic-narcissistic parent) compliant, respectful, obedient and admiring of him/her.

 

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

 

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