Tag Archives: Effects Of Childhood Trauma.

Four Very Common Reactions To Childhood Trauma

 

Research has shown that there are four main characteristics that children who have suffered significant childhood trauma very frequently display. These are:

1) Repetitive Behaviours

2) Repeated Memories

3) Specific Trauma Related Fears

4) A Profoundly Altered View Of Other People, The Future, And Life In General

Let’s look at each of these in turn:

1) Children who have experienced significant trauma frequently act out their trauma in repetitive and obsessive ‘play’. I place the word ‘play’ in inverted commas as it is devoid of any ‘fun’ element; it is also often referred to by psychologists as ‘post-traumatic play.’

The reason for this ‘play’ is believed to be an unconscious attempt to mentally process and emotionally master the trauma that they experienced.

Usually the child is not consciously aware that s/he is repeatedly acting out the traumatic experience through the post-traumatic play. This is made clear by the fact that the child may repeatedly carry out the ‘play’ activity that relates to the original trauma even if s/he has no verbal memory of the traumatic event/s themselves.

Post-traumatic_play

 

Above : Post-traumatic Play.

2) Repeated memories of the trauma are vivid, intrusive and distressing. Usually, they are visual, but may also be aural (relating to hearing), tactile (relating to touch) or, even, (if relevant), olfactory (relating to smell).

Such intrusive memories are particularly likely to occur just before the child falls asleep. However, they may also occur in other contexts, such as at school in the classroom, leading often to dissociative states.

Repeated memories may also take the form of nightmares. Often such nightmares will represent the trauma in a highly disguised form.

3) Specific fears relating directly to the traumatic experience also usually occur. To take a simple example, if a child is seriously injured by being knocked down by a motorbike s/he may come to fear the sound of motorbikes revving their engines.

Also, however, children frequently develop more general fears after a significantly traumatic experience. For example, they may develop fears of the dark, being alone or of strangers etc.

4) Children who have suffered significant trauma often develop an extremely restricted view of their own future and become devoid of ambitions, hopes and dreams; they also often assume their lives to come will be filled with yet further traumatic experiences.

They also frequently develop a lack of basic trust in others and develop feelings of helplessness and a general lack of autonomy (Erickson).

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

 

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Factors that Influence the Severity of Effects of Child Abuse

childhood trauma

The degree to which a person who suffers abuse during childhood is damaged by the experience will depend upon a number of different factors.

Those who research such factors have split them into two groups :

1) RISK FACTORS – these are factors connected to the abuse that are likely to increase the emotional damage it causes

2) PROTECTIVE FACTORS – these are factors that are likely to reduce the emotional damage the abuse causes

THE FACTORS INFLUENCING THE SEVERITY OF EFFECTS OF ABUSE :

– if the child confides in somebody about the abuse, the response of that person is of great importance : if the child is made to feel shame over what has happened, or his/her complaint is minimized or not taken seriously, the damage done by the abuse is likely to be very significantly increased. If, on the other hand, the child’s complaint is taken seriously and s/he is offered emotional support and understanding, the effects of the abuse are likely to be reduced.

– the effects of abuse will tend to be increased if the abuser has a particularly close relationship with the child. This includes parents, step-parents or other primary carers in a position of trust and responsible for the welfare of the child.

– the age of the child is also of importance ; in general terms, the younger the child is when the abuse is occurring, the more psychological damage the child is likely to incur.

– another highly relevant factor concerns the duration of the abuse – the longer it went on, the more harmful its effects are likely to be

– the severity of the abuse is also clearly relevant ; the greater the severity, the greater the psychological distress caused,

– the form that the abuse takes is another vital consideration eg physical, sexual, emotional or neglect? Recent research is starting to indicate that emotional neglect may be particularly damaging, due, of course, to the child’s fundamental need to be shown warmth, affection and love. Being deprived of these things can have particularly serious consequences.

– finally, it is very important to consider the relationships the child has with people other than the abuser. If the child has good emotional support from people outside the family (eg friends, teachers etc) and/or has some family members who express love and affection towards him/her (eg grandparents, siblings), this can make the child more resilient and protect him/her from the worst effects of the abuse.

CONCLUSION :

Each case, however, is unique and the above factors interact in highly complex ways which cannot be precisely measured ; therefore, it is difficult to predict with any degree of accuracy how specific individuals will be affected by their traumatic experiences. Each case needs to be evaluated on its own particular merits.

David Hosier BSc Hons ; MSc ; PGDE(FAHE).

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Types of Abuse and Their Effects : An Infographic

effects of child abuse

effects of childhood trauma

The infographic below illustrates different types of child abuse together with some of the effects of such abuse :

 

CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE

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effects of child abuse

CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE

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The Five Main Routes Through Which Childhood Trauma Harms Us-Part 2

effects of child trauma

effects of childhood trauma

This post follows on from The Five Main Routes Through Which Childhood Trauma Harms Us – Part 1. Click here to read it.

We have already looked at the emotional route (item 1 on the list of the five routes – see Part 1) through which childhood trauma may harm us in Part 1. In this post, I want to turn to the other four routes through which childhood trauma can harm us; these are :

2) THE BEHAVIOURAL ROUTE

3) THE COGNITIVE ROUTE

4) THE SOCIAL ROUTE

5) THE BIOLOGICAL ROUTE

Let’s look at each of these in turn :

THE BEHAVIOURAL ROUTE : Our adverse childhood experiences (eg rejection, betrayal, abuse) often lead us to develop counter-productive coping mechanisms to attempt to deal with our distress in adult life; in turn, these dysfunctional coping mechanisms are likely to adversely impact on our physical health; examples include :

smoking

excessive drinking

– illicit drug use

over-eating

high risk sexual activity (ie unprotected, promiscuous sex)

self-harm

Essentially, we adopt these behaviours in order to psychologically dissociate from our all too painful reality (click here to read my post on dissociation).

Unfortunately, in addition to the fact that these behaviours can lead to physical illness, our reliance upon them also PREVENTS US FROM LEARNING MORE EFFECTIVE COPING STRATEGIES.

THE COGNITIVE ROUTE : The term ‘cognitive’ relates to how we think about things; for example, the attitudes and beliefs which, in large part, determine our day-to-day behaviour. As I have written about fairly extensively in other posts, the experience of childhood trauma often results in us developing a cognitive negative bias towards ;

– ourselves

– other people

– the world in general

This three-way despairing outlook has been termed ‘THE NEGATIVE COGNITIVE TRIAD’ and is one of the main hallmarks of clinical depression. We tend, for example, to (completely erroneously) blame ourselves for the trauma that we suffered and this prevents us from developing good self-esteem or a cohesive and positive self-identity (eg Kralik, 2005).

If, as children, we were in a more or less perpetual state of stress, it is likely that we frequently experienced the ‘fight/flight response’ as a reaction to frightening stimuli. If this occurred frequently enough, and over a long enough period, such a response may well have become DEEPLY INGRAINED INTO OUR PERSONALITY – we become conditioned to respond in this way (beyond our conscious control) whenever we feel threatened.

Therefore, as an adult, we may, for example, frequently react with extreme anger which seems, to an objective observer, as both excessive and inappropriate. However, such rage occurs because the (even very small) threats we experience in adulthood remind us (usually on an unconscious level) of the threats we experienced as children – thus the response which was conditioned into us over long years of suffering in childhood is triggered.

THE SOCIAL ROUTE : We have seen in previous posts how childhood trauma can lead us to experience extreme difficulties in relation to our personal relationships in adult life (eg – click here). As a result, we may, as adults, find we have little social support – in turn, a lack of social support and close personal relationships has been shown (eg Draper et al., 2007) to be associated with poor physical and mental health. Indeed, Tucker (1999) carried out research showing that our social environment is more important in relation to our mental health than our physical environment.

THE BIOLOGICAL ROUTE : Chronic stress in childhood can adversely affect our neurological development, and, therefore, we are more likely to develop neuropsychiatric conditions as adults (click here to read a previous post I wrote on this).

I hope you have found this post interesting.

Best wishes, David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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The Five Main Routes Through Which Childhood Trauma Harms Us-Part 1.

effects of child trauma

effects of childhood trauma

It has already been established in previous articles on this site that childhood trauma can affect us ;

– psychologically

neurologically

– biologically

It has further been described that the damage done by the experience of childhood trauma may manifest itself in a variety of ways; these include :

– our ability to emotionally regulate (ie our ability to control our emotions)

– extreme anxiety

– high degree of impulsiveness (acting without thinking through the consequences, implications and ramifications)

– sleep disturbance including insomnia, nightmares/night-terrors and, sometimes, an excessive need to sleep

severe depression

personality disorders

(NB the above list is by no means exclusive)

In this article, I want to look at the various routes through which the experience of childhood trauma adversely impacts on us; these have been identified as the following :

– emotional

– behavioural

– cognitive

– social

– biological

1) THE EMOTIONAL ROUTE : If, as a child, we were unable to rely upon our primary caregiver to console and soothe us when we were under psychological duress, research strongly indicates that we become incapable of effectively dealing with stress as adults (assuming there has been no therapeutic intervention). We lack the ability to self-soothe and therefore find we are highly reactive and sensitive to stress as adults, to the degree that it may engulf and overwhelm us. The extreme emotional problems that we may find ourselves having to deal with as adults (often, most unsuccessfully) have been documented by various researchers (eg Van Der Horst et al., 2008).

It has also been demonstrated (eg Bowlby, 1988) that a failure to establish a healthy emotional bond with the primary caregiver as children often leads to us experiencing significant difficulties with forming and maintaining relationships in our adult life. Indeed, we may find that our adult relationships are full of conflict and disruption (Henderson, 2006).

Bowlby’s extensive research on the vital importance of our experience of early relationships with caregivers to how we form (or fail to form) relationships as adults has clearly indicated that we INTERNALIZE OUR EARLY RELATIONSHIPS;  it is this psychological process that affects how we relate to others later on in life. In other words, the DYSFUNCTIONAL ATTACHMENT STYLE we had with our primary caregiver in childhood repeats itself in the relationships we form in adulthood. In essence, OUR ADULT RELATIONSHIPS WILL TEND TO MIRROR OUR EARLY, PROBLEMATIC RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR PRIMARY CAREGIVER.

Bowlby described three types of dysfunctional attachment style (ie ways of relating to others) we may develop as adults due to our adverse early experiences; these are :

a) AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT

b) AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT

c) DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT

Let’s look at each of these in turn:

a) AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT – If we develop this dysfunctional attachment style as adults it is likely that the parenting we received was inconsistent and emotionally negligent – often, the parent’s emotional responsiveness to the child has been intermittent at best; the result of this tends to be that the child will intensely cling to the parent on the rare occasion s/he is available in order to attempt to compensate for when s/he is not and to, as it were, ‘make the most of it.’

In adulthood, as a consequence of the above, the individual may become extremely ‘clingy’, obsessive and dependent in connection to relationships. S/he may, too, become excessively angry and/or upset in response to perceived rejection.

b) AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT – If, as children, the parenting we received was hostile, rejecting and cold, we may learn not to approach others for emotional support for fear of meeting with more painful rejection. As adults, we may become obsessively self-reliant, dislike intimacy and view others as hostile and essentially unreliable. Underlying this, there may well be feelings of anxiety, depression and general emotional distress which we dare not confide in others about and attempt to keep hidden (eg Alexander and Anderson, 1994).

c) DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT – Generally, this dysfunctional attachment style has been found to have its origin in the early experience in which the child is frightened of interactions with the primary caregiver. However, no matter how afraid of the primary caregiver the child might be, s/he must, by necessity, interact with him/her and, for psychological protection, develops coping strategies to do so; a prime example of such a coping mechanism is dissociation (click here to read my article on dissociation).

Following such childhood experiences, s/he may grow up to be an adult who views him/herself (erroneously) as irredemiably bad and (also erroneously) as responsible for the trauma s/he experienced as a child. As an adult, too, as a result of the traumatic childhood, social adjustment is frequently impaired and feelings of depression and distress are likely to predominate.

Part 2 of this article will look at items 2-5 on the above list, namely the behavioural, cognitive, social and biological routes through which the experience of childhood trauma can adversely affect us in our adult life.

Best wishes, David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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Child Trauma and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) PART 1.

childhood trauma and obsessive compulsive disorder

Several of the posts in this blog have already examined the link between childhood trauma and anxiety. In this post, I want to consider one specific anxiety based disorder known as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). When a person has this disorder, as its name suggests, s/he suffers recurring obsessions and/or compulsions. I define these below :

OBSESSIONS – intrusive and anxiety creating thoughts, images or impulses

COMPULSIONS – behaviours or mental acts intended to reduce the anxiety the obsession causes (but which, in fact, actually makes the anxiety worse over the long-term). Any effect the compulsion has on reducing the anxiety created by the obsession is temporary.

I show below how thoughts, feelings and behaviours flow into each other to keep the symptoms of OCD going :

OBSESSIONS (intrusive thoughts or images related to contamination, sexuality, danger, morality etc) >>>>>DISTRESS (eg shame, fear)>>>>>COMPULSION (repetitive behaviours or mental acts aimed at reducing the anxiety created by the obsession)>>>>>TEMPORARY RELIEF>>>>>OBSESSIONS (intrusive thoughts or images related to contamination, sexuality, danger, morality etc)>>>>> (eg shame, fear)>>>>>COMPULSIONS (repetitive behaviours or mental acts aimed at reducing the anxiety created by the obsession)>>>>>TEMPORARY RELIEF>>>>> and so on…and so on…leading to chronic distress.

In order for a person to be diagnosed with OCD, the following criteria normally have to be met :

a) the obsessions and compulsions cause significant distress

b) the obsessions and compulsions significantly interfere with day to day functioning.

c) the behaviours engendered by the OCD take up about an hour a day or more

d) the person with OCD is aware, at least at some level, that his/her behaviours are excessive and illogical

It is, of course, necessary to get a diagnosis from a professional as opposed to trying to self-diagnose.

HOW PREVALENT IS OCD THROUGHOUT THE GENERAL POPULATION?

It is estimated that approximately 2-3% of the population will suffer from OCD at some point during their lives. However, this may well be an underestimate as many people choose to keep their condition a secret. Research indicates, however, that OCD is becoming increasingly common.

Whilst the condition can begin in childhood, its onset is more common in late adolescence. It seems to be equally common in both men and women. However, women are more likely to seek out treatment for the disorder.

OCD can be made worse by stress. Also, those who suffer from OCD often suffer from other conditions as well. These include :

– depression

excessive worry

– insomnia

– panic attacks

social phobia

– specific phobias

– eating disorders

WHAT ARE THE MOST COMMON OBSESSIONS/COMPULSIONS?

In descending order. the most common are :

checking and cleaning

– counting

– needing to ask or confess

– symmetry/ordering rituals

– hoarding

It should also be noted that people often have multiple obsessions/compulsions and these can change over time.

Due to the amount of distress OCD causes, and its link to other serious psychological conditions, if a person suspects s/he suffers from it, it is very important to seek out professional advice.

I examine OCD further in Part 2.

STOP OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS - CLICK IMAGE

STOP OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS – CLICK IMAGE

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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The Vicious Cycle of Adult Problems Stemming from Childhood Trauma

childhood trauma

‘WE NEED TO SEE THE SYMPTOMS WE HAVE AS A RESULT OF OUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA LESS AS THE RESULT OF SOME CHARACTER FLAW, AND MORE AS THE RESULT OF HAVING SUFFERED EXTREME AND PAINFUL EXPERIENCES WHEN WE WERE LEAST ABLE TO COPE WITH THEM. BY CONSIDERING THE IDEA THAT OUR SYMPTOMS COULD BE SEEN AS NORMAL REACTIONS TO ABNORMAL AND TRAUMATIC EVENTS IN CHILDHOOD, IT IS POSSIBLE TO USHER IN THE IDEA OF CHANGE.’

– CHARTED CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST AND EXPERT ON EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA.

People who have suffered childhood trauma frequently go on to develop multiple problems in adult life which tend to build up over the long-term. A range of difficulties like the ones given in the fictional scenario below would not be untypical:

Losing interest in school and unable to concentrate resulting in leaving at age 15 ; becoming disruptive and difficult leading to home-life problems, so leaving home at 16 ; this could then lead to homelessness or insecure housing (eg sleeping on friends’ sofas) ; depression and unsettled life style and lack of direction could then lead to abuse of drugs and alcohol ; unable to hold down job for long (eg due to having problems getting on with authority figures (stemming from problems with relationship in childhood with parent/s) and inability to accept criticism (eg becoming angry and aggressive when criticized, this, again, stemming from earlier relationship with parent/s, perhaps because they were physically abusive leading to a an intense need to ‘stand up for self’ and protect self).

The above example of how life can unravel as a result of childhood trauma, a whole string of problems feeding in to one another and compounding one another, are likely, too, to be underpinned by feelings of LOW SELF-ESTEEM, EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY and EMOTIONAL SCARS, A POOR SENSE OF OWN IDENTITY, AN INABILITY TO TRUST AND ‘PUT DOWN ROOTS’ – all these factors, also, stemming from the problematic childhood.

imagesCAEH7Z1BimagesCA24B8VY

STOPPING THE VICIOUS CIRCLE : The key to BREAKING OUT OF THE VICIOUS CYCLE IS TO BECOME AWARE AND RECOGNIZE THAT OUR PROBLEMS IN ADULT LIFE HAVE THEIR ROOTS IN OUR DISTURBED CHILDHOOD. By doing this, we can begin to understand that our unhelpful behaviours are rooted in our disturbed childhood and start to discard them. By understanding the enormous, destructive impact the past has – up until now – had upon our life, we can begin to loosen the past’s invidious grip on us.

We need to understand that our traumatic childhood experiences have affected how we THINK, FEEL and BEHAVE as adults. Apart from all the potential effects I have already described, our disturbed childhood is likely, too, to have had a VERY ADVERSE IMPACT UPON THE RELATIONSHIPS WE HAVE HAD, SO FAR, IN ADULTHOOD, perhaps due to feelings of FEAR, SHAME, FRUSTRATION, MOOD DISORDERS, ANXIETY and DEPRESSION. Again, these symptoms will almost certainly have their roots in our adverse childhood experiences.

LEARNING NEW WAYS OF COPING : Because our childhood experiences, the effects of which then become compounded by the adult experiences we have which stem from these childhood experiences, we are likely to have suffered EXTREME EMOTIONAL DISTRESS in our adult life, at worst leading to such horrors as compulsive self-harm and suicide attempts. Due to such intolerable distress, we are likely to have turned, in desperation, to any WAYS OF COPING possible. Often, these will have been unhelpful in the long-term and will have made matters yet worse. The coping mechanisms may have included alcohol abuse, drug abuse, withdrawal from society etc. These coping mechanisms may have become habits which we find difficult to change. We may, too, have become so enmeshed in the damaging life-style we now find ourselves in, it is difficult to step back and reassess why we are suffering our futile, negative, repeating pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

Often, the only viable option will be to seek therapy and start the process of stepping back, understanding how our lives have become as they have, stop blaming ourselves and feeling bad about ourselves, and, gradually, seek new and more positive ways of approaching life.

We may have come to see the personal characteristics we have displayed up until now (our anxiety, our depression, our bleak outlook, our problematic relationships etc, etc) as just ‘who we are.’ This, though, is a mistake which will only perpetuate matters. We need to detach these SYMPTOMS of our traumatic childhood from our TRUE IDENTITY. We may need to realize we are not ‘bad’ even though are childhood experiences and the symptoms they have caused may have made us (FALSELY) believe that we were ‘bad’.

CONCLUSION : AN IMPORTANT NOTE OF CAUTION:

Those who played a part in causing the childhood trauma (parents, step-parents, siblings etc) will often ENTER A STATE OF DENIAL to PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM THEIR OWN GUILT. It will often suit them to regard you as ‘innately bad’, and to regard this ‘badness’ as having nothing whatsoever to do with their treatment of you. Freud, of course, would regard this as a flagrant example of the psychological defense mechanism known as PROJECTION. I am inclined to concur.

effects of childhood traumachildhood trauma therapies and treatments

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With my best wishes, David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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A Closer Examination of The Effects of Childhood Trauma. Part 2

In Part One I looked at how childhood trauma can adversely affect an individual’s ability to control his/her emotions and his/her ability to maintain relationships and interact socially.

In this post, Part 2, I wish to look at how 3 other areas of the individual’s functioning may be adversely affected by the experience of childhood trauma. These are:

– Behaviour
– Physical Health
– Cognitive Functioning (thinking skills).

Let’s look at how each of these 3 areas of functioning may be negatively affected now:

BEHAVIOUR – Because the effects of childhood trauma are so complex, it is not possible to fully articulate them; a demonstration of their effects, then, may frequently be ‘acted out’ through DISTURBED BEHAVIOUR. Some individuals may become withdrawn and emotionally ‘flat’, others may become disruptive, aggressive, hostile and attention seeking.

PHYSICAL HEALTH – Sometimes, a secondary effect of emotional distress may express itself physically – in other words, the individual may develop psychosomatic symptoms (the term ‘psychosomatic’ refers to the mind’s effects upon the body – chronic and severe stress, in other words, can create physical symptoms; it is important to point out here that, just because a physical symptom is psychosomatic, it does not make that symptom any less real or harmful than physical symptoms caused by non-psychological factors).

What sort of physical symptoms can occur as a result of protracted and intense stress? Examples can include changes in appetite, insomnia, headaches and stomach aches, although this list is not an exhaustive one.

COGNITIVE (THINKING) SKILLS – Severe and chronic stress can impair an individual’s ability to think clearly, concentrate and learn; these impairments mean that the individual will be unable to live up to his/her potential. This can result in difficulties maintaining employment; if this happens, self-esteem and self-confidence are often adversely affected.

CONCLUSION – It is important to point out that just because an individual does display symptoms like those described above, it does not mean for certain that the affected individual has suffered extreme childhood trauma. However, because the symptoms signal great distress, it is likely that if childhood trauma is not responsible, other serious stressors are at play.

I hope you have found this post of interest. Please leave a comment if you would like to.

New posts are added to this blog at least twice a week.

Best Wishes, David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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How I Went from 1/4 Million Pounds in Bank to Homeless Hostel in a Few Months (or Just What the Doctor Ordered).

gambling true story

I started this blog about four months ago, and, recently, have reflected on the possibility that it is really just one long exercise in self-justification. After all, I’ve made mistakes in life. One mistake that many would consider particularly inexplicable was how I managed to lose just over a quarter of a million pounds in a few short months:

I will not repeat my psychiatric history, which I have already outlined in the short post entitled: MY OWN STORY; suffice it to say, over the years, I have had the following diagnoses: unipolar depression, bipolar depression, anxiety disorder, OCD (related to self-harming -don’t ask), alcohol dependency, asperger’s syndrome (suspected but not officially diagnosed) and, for good measure, it was decided that borderline personality disorder be tossed into this already alarmingly toxic mix. OK, different psychiatrists have different opinions – it’s an inexact science. One thing we can all probably agree on, however, is that I wasn’t in overwhelmingly good psychological shape.

Let me cut to the chase. My father died about five years ago. The relationship I had with him, from my early teens, I suppose, was a tortured one. I watched him die, very unpleasantly, from cancer, which was made all the more painful for the ambivalence I had always felt towards him. After his death, my symptoms worsened, notwithstanding the fact he had left me over a quarter of a million pounds.

 

gambling_addiction_true_story

 

The money took about six months to come through. The day it entered my account, I remember, I felt flat and empty. My strongest emotion, certainly, was guilt.

Apart from renting a flat, I bought nothing material with the money. My depression was such that nothing I could have bought would have had the slightest elevating effect upon my mood.

In order to divert myself, I started playing online poker. This was a great distraction. It made me feel something. It took me to a different mental realm. Just me, the cards and the bets. Nothing else existed. Soon I was putting down a thousand pounds a hand. I went down 50,000. I had to win it back. Down another 50,000. Well, now I’ve got no choice: I MUST win it back. Down to my last 30,000. OK, I might not be able to win it all back. Just get back up to 100,000.

Finally, the stark message came up on the screen : YOU HAVE INSUFFICIENT CREDIT FOR THIS BET.

I remember, after I’d played my last bet and lost everything, I went and sat on the sofa, lit a cigarette, and felt a strange, yet profound, sense of release and relief  – something, in fact, akin to elation.

It had been cathartic. Expensive, but cathartic.

The psychiatrist working with me at the time wrote to Ladbrokes (who I had lost the lion’s share of the money to on their online gambling site) as he felt they had failed in their duty of care to protect vulnerable people from being exploited by their site. However, after protracted correspondence they started to send me letters intimidating me out of my claim and refused to return a penny.

Losing the money also led me to losing the flat and all my possessions. I didn’t have the money to put them in storage, let alone a flat to accommodate them.

 

gambling_addiction_true_story

 

A couple of months of intense fear followed; the council warned me that, due to my, arguably, irresponsible behaviour, I might be officially deemed ‘intentionally homeless’, which would fully relieve them of any responsibility towards me whatsoever. I faced street homelessness.

In the end, however, I was placed into a hostel for people with psychiatric disturbances and behavioural problems. The support there was excellent and I was put in contact with other extremely skilled professionals.

After nearly two years in the hostel system, I finally, you will be relieved to hear, obtained a very nice flat, in which I now sit, pensively typing away at my keyboard.

A FREUDIAN INTERPRETATION :

Of course, the possibility that this massive financial loss was unconsciously motivated through feelings of not deserving to have the money  and, therefore, on one level, intentional (as Freud may suggest if he were alive today) has not been lost on me as, at this point in my life, I was consumed by feelings of guilt and self-hatred.

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

Founder of childhoodtraumarecovery.com

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Childhood Trauma: Borderline Personality Disorder – Should Sufferers Tell Others They Have It?

childhood-trauma-fact-sheet

Deciding whether to tell others about the fact one is suffering from BPD presents a very difficult dilemma: on the one hand, there is the worry of being stigmatized and discriminated against, and, on the other, there is the possibility that others will become more understanding of one.

Because few people, through no fault of their own, are well educated about psychological issues, the decision a sufferer of BPD must make as to whether or not to tell others is one that cannot be taken lightly. However, it need not be an ‘all-or-nothing’ decision: it is obviously possible to tell some people (if reasonably believed to be entirely trustworthy) whilst not telling others; similarly, it is possible to decide how much detail it is necessary (or not) to go into.

First of all, let’s look at the possible benefits (and it important to note the word ‘possible’, as they are by no means guaranteed) which might come from telling others:

– those told might become more empathetic, understanding and forgiving
– those told might feel closer to you as a result
– those told might wish to offer some help and support

I REPEAT, THOUGH, NONE OF THESE POSITIVE OUTCOMES CAN, IN ANY WAY, BE COUNTED ON:

So let’s now consider some possible negative repercussions:

– those told may hurt the sufferer further by ‘not wanting to know’
– those told may tell others that the sufferer did not wish them to tell, thus betraying their trust. Then, sadly as we all know, some people have an unlimited capacity to entertain themselves with malicious gossip
– the sufferer may be met with discrimination
– if the sufferer tells people that s/he has a personality disorder, which carries with it very negative connatations, they may consider the sufferer ‘crazy’ or ‘mad’ due to their lack of knowledge and, conceivably, fear
– people told may lose the confidence or motivation to interact with the sufferer further
– people may cynically think that the sufferer is trying to provide an excuse for their mistakes

It is worth re-emphasizing that, because it is impossible to predict with complete accuracy how another will respond, the decision about what to tell and whom to tell should be given a great deal of thought.

THE USEFULNESS OF FIRST GETTING PROFESSIONAL ADVICE AND SUPPORT:

It is recommended, very strongly, that anyone suffering from BPD should seek professional therapy. With more and more research being conducted on the condition, positive treatment outcomes for those with BPD are continually increasing in likelihood. Professionals who can help treat BPD, and provide advice and support include:

– psychiatrists
– psychologists
– counsellors
– social workers specializing in mental health issues
– family therapists
– community mental health nurses

Such professionals can help the sufferer to come to a decision about considerations which may include:

– whether to tell others/whom to tell
– any treatment being received/considered
– specific symptoms the sufferer experiences which are believed to stem from the condition of BPD
– the causes of BPD (particular care is adviseable hear if explaining these to someone the sufferer believes may have contributed to their development of the condition).

NB Any decision to inform an employer of one’s condition should definitely only be undertaken once the relevant advice (including legal advice regarding the relevant discrimination laws, which are a mine-field) has been sought. It should be borne in mind that legal disputes with an employer, especially regarding such a sensitive issue as discrimination law, can be extremely stressful and emotionally draining.

Finally, it is worth saying that, in general, is easier to discuss the condition with others if one has spent some to researching it.

borderline personality disorder and childhood traums

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Best wishes, David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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