Category Archives: Depression And Anxiety Articles

Fear Of Success Stemming From Having Envious Parents

fear of success

 

 

When I was sixteen and received my O-level (the formal exams most school children took at this age in the UK in the 1980s) results (which were good though by no means outstanding) I remember informing my mother of my these results, possibly with some trepidatious excitement and an uncertain, tentative sense of pride, only to meet with a stony-faced, tight-lipped response and the single, indifferent, bored, monosyllabic utterance : ‘Oh?’

There was no ‘congratulations’ card. No suggestion of celebrating with a meal. A small spongecake, perhaps? Out of the question. Perhaps partially as a result of this and not altogether dissimilar experiences, when I gained my bachelor’s and master’s degrees, I attended neither graduation ceremony. But why do I suggest the two things may be linked?

THE POSSIBLE EFFECTS OF THE ENVIOUS PARENT – FEAR OF SUCCESS :

An envious parent resents his/her child’s successes, achievements and accomplishments and may even feel disdain for this child’s expressions of pride; this envy may be unconscious and the parent may rationalize it by telling him/herself that s/he does not encourage the child’s feelings of mastery in order to prevent him/her from becoming arrogant or conceited. S/he may express this envy through overt and withering comments such as : ‘Oh, you think you’re such a big shot!’, or in more subtle ways such as making a point of not sharing in the child’s joy when s/he is successful.

The underlying cause of such envy is usually the parent’s own sense of inadequacy and failure together with a narcissistic resentment of having the limelight shifted away from him/her in favour of the child.

Also, if the parent is possessive, s/he may view the child’s successes as steps towards independence and and freedom from dependency which instils in the parent feelings of anxiety in relation to being no longer needed and, potentially, abandoned.

Indeed, the relationship between parent and child may be enmeshed whereby the parent is unable to distinguish the child’s individual and separate needs from his/her (the parent’s) own and therefore feels bitter about the child having successes of which s/he (the parent) has been deprived.

Such negative reactions by the parent in response to the child’s successes can have an insidious and cumulative effect culminating in the child coming to fear success. Similarly, the child may come to feel embarrassed by even small successes and desperately try to play them down (not to be confused with false modesty which is something different, of course) or, when s/he achieves success, feel strongly that s/he does not deserve it or that absolutely anyone could easily have accomplished the same.

In the individual’s mind, success has become strongly associated with rejection and, thus, must be avoided at all costs, lest it lead to shame and confusion.

fear of success

COGNITIONS ASSOCIATED WITH FEAR OF SUCCESS :

We may rationalize our deep-rooted fear of success in various ways. A study conducted by Deeter-Schmelz and Ramsey (2001) found that those who feared success tended to have thoughts such as :

  • once at the top there follows a desperate struggle to maintain your position
  • others see successful people as aloof and arrogant
  • people who become successful change for the worse
  • the cost of success outweighs its rewards

Whereas those NOT afraid of success tend to have thoughts such as :

  • others look up to you when you’re at the top
  • achievement commands respect
  • success opens up many new doors

IMPOSTOR SYNDROME :

Linked to fear of successes, there is also a phenomenon known as IMPOSTOR SYNDROME, first described by Clance and Imes (1978) .  This occurs when we achieve some success but feel we don’t deserve it; therefore, we feel like a fraud or impostor – as if we shouldn’t inhabit the position we do.

Those who experience impostor syndrome tend to have thoughts such as:

  • my success is mainly due to luck
  • talking about my success makes me feel silly and embarrasses me
  • when I compare myself to others with similar achievements, I feel they deserve theirs but I don’t
  • I worry people will soon see through me and I’ll be exposed as the idiot I truly am
  • when people praise me, I feel like I’m being given something I have not earned and it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable
  • in the scheme of things, my so-called achievements mean nothing
  • my success will come to an abrupt end anytime now

When the fear of success reaches phobic proportions, positive visualization exercises, hypnotherapy, or a combination of the two can prove effective.

Resources :

Self-hypnosis MP3/CD : Overcome Fear Of Success – click here for details.

 

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

 

 

 

 

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Childhood Trauma, Obsessions, Compulsions And Rituals

childhood trauma and obsessive compulsive disorder

 

 

Research conducted by Mathews, Kaur and Stein at the University of California examined the association between childhood trauma and the development of symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) symptoms.

It was found that those individuals who had experienced emotional abuse or physical abuse in childhood were significantly more likely than those who had not to suffer from symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

In this article, I will briefly describe the most common obsessions / compulsions / rituals from which individuals with OCD or OCD-like symptoms suffer.

Most Common Obsessions / Compulsions / Rituals :

These are as follows :

Let’s briefly look at each of these in turn :

1) FEAR OF ‘CONTAMINATION’ –  the individual who suffers from this is excessively concerned about germs, bacteria and anything that might harbour these such as other people, door handles, household surfaces, bathrooms, light switches etc.

For example, someone who is severely affected may feel compelled to wash their hands dozens, or even hundreds, of times a day to (very temporarily) ease their anxiety, or only use a door handle if their hand is protected by a glove / handkerchief / tissue etc.

2) EXCESSIVE CHECKING – a person who suffers from this feels driven to excessively check such things as that the door has been locked, the gas cooker has been switched off, the windows have been shut and locked etc.

For example, someone suffering from this type of OCD may check s/he has locked the front door behind him/her, get into his/her car and start to drive to work only to become anxious s/he didn’t ‘properly’  check the door was locked to the extent that after five minutes of driving s/he turns the car around and goes home to recheck that the door actually is locked. Having done this, s/he may restart the drive only to turn the car around again after a few minutes to make absolutely sure the front door is locked. S/he may repeat this scenario numerous times before s/he has reduced his/her anxiety enough to finally make it into work.

3) INTRUSIVE, DISTURBING, UNCONTROLLABLE THOUGHTS  – someone who suffers from this finds s/he is ‘mentally bombarded’ by unwanted, distressing, disturbing and upsetting thoughts that s/he feels s/he cannot control.

For example, s/he may fear s/he will seriously hurt someone, even his/her own children, commit some unspeakable crime, or act on inappropriate sexual impulses (even though s/he has never acted on such thoughts and abhors any prospect of doing so).

Indeed, there was a famous example of a man who chained himself to the bed every night as he feared that, otherwise, he might rise in his sleep ( this is sometimes referred to as somnambulism), commit some appalling crime in his unconscious state and, as a consequence, spend the rest of his life in jail.

4) EXCESSIVE HOARDING – an individual with this disorder can’t bring him/herself to throw away / obsessively collects useless or broken material and objects often to the point that his/her living environment becomes cluttered to a degree that is both unsafe and unhygienic (see image below).

childhood trauma, obsessions, compulsions, rituals

Above : an example of the results of obsessive hoarding.

5) EXCESSIVE CONCERN WITH ‘ORDERING’ AND SYMMETRY – someone suffering this disorder feels strongly compelled to arrange things (such as household objects and contents of fridges/cupboards) with painstaking, meticulous, absolute precision.

Another well known way in which this disorder manifests itself is aa a compulsion to precisely line up items (such as knives, plates, bowls and forks etc) at one’s table in restaurants ; Oscar Wilde developed this compulsion in Paris following his release from Reading Gaol and subsequent flight from England (see photo and caption below).

childhood trauma, obsessions, compulsions and rituals

Above : Oscar Wilde (left) and Lord Alfred (Bosie) Douglas. At the time this picture was taken Wilde suffered a compulsion to ‘precisely order’ the items on his table following his harrowing two years in Reading Gaol and being forced there to set his table for meals with ‘military’ precision. Circa 1899.

 

To read my article entitled :Childhood Trauma, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder And Treatment’ click here.

 

Or to read my article providing more information about childhood trauma and its link to obsessive compulsive disorder in general click here.

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

 

 

 

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Does Trying To Relax Paradoxically Increase Your Anxiety?

Paradoxically, trying to relax can actually make some people feel more anxious and stressed, not less.

Indeed, when I was extremely ill and in hospital (I was hospitalized on several occasions due to the seriousness of my condition), I was encouraged to attend certain therapeutic classes (which, because I was almost catatonic with severe clinical depression and anxiety, I most resolutely did not want to do –  amongst other myriad other symptoms, I had no motivation whatsoever, together with an unshakable belief that there was no possibility at all of me getting even very slightly better (such thinking is almost universal amongst the seriously, clinically depressed).

However, I eventually agreed to attend a class in which the therapist tried to guide me (and the other patients who had attended) through a relaxation exercise. Just a minute or so into the exercises, I felt so overwhelmed by anxiety that I had to excuse myself and leave the room, seeking, instead, refuge in the smoking room where I chain-smoked innumerable cigarettes.

In fact, this such a paradoxical reaction to an attempt to relax is not especially rare – a small percentage of those with anxiety will react in a similar manner.

So, what is the cause of this paradoxical response? Several ideas have been proposed, and I briefly look at some of these below:

POSSIBLE CAUSES OF A PARADOXICAL RESPONSE TO ATTEMPTS TO RELAX :

  • Trying to relax and ‘let go’ of stressful mental activity can induce in some individuals a feeling of loss of control. Related to this is the phenomenon whereby some people feel that, if they stop worrying about things, something terrible will happen and that their constant worrying is therefore somehow ‘protective’. Psychologists sometimes refer to such mistaken belief systems ‘magical thinking’.
  • Fear of loss of identity – for some, being stressed (eg always busy, ‘driven’, ”keyed-up’ etc) forms part of their identity and they feel uncomfortable relinquishing this identity, fearing that if they do so others may see them as complacent, indolent etc rather than as the ‘dynamic’ individual they hope others perceive.
  • Brain wave activity – becoming relaxed correlates with a shift in brainwave activity from beta-waves to alpha-waves which may cause thinking to become cloudy, hazy and foggy; some individuals find this disconcerting.
  • Frustration – if we try to relax, and find we cannot immediately do so. this can lead to frustration which makes relaxation even more difficult; this can quickly develop into a vicious circle.
  • Fear – similarly to the above, we may fear we will not be able to relax (by thinking things like : ‘If I don’t relax soon, I’ll go completely and irreversibly insane’ – which was the kind of thing I used to think) thus putting too much pressure on ourselves. In this way, the fear that we will not be able to relax can rapidly become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  • Depersonalization – relaxation techniques can lead to feelings of ‘depersonalization’ in some people. Depersonalization can manifest itself as feeling of being ‘detached from one’s body‘ or as being an ‘observer of oneself.’ Many find such a sensation unpleasant.
  • Derealization –derealization’ can manifest itself as a feeling that ‘the world is not real’ and more like a nebulous, hazy, dreamworld. Again, many find this unpleasant. (‘Dearealiztion’ is a type of ‘dissociation.‘)
  • Distraction – for some individuals, certain types of stress (such as always ‘keeping busy’) can operate as a distraction from problems and worries the person finds hard to face (in extreme cases, this may result in workaholism‘). In this way, the stress/’keeping busy’ works as a psychological defense mechanism – the sudden dropping of this defense may lead to the person becoming vulnerable to being overwhelmed by floods of previously suppressed anxiety.

In response to the problem of the possible paradoxical effect a small minority of individuals may suffer as a result of trying to relax, some hypnotherapists have been trained in technique of inducing what is referred to as an ALERT TRANCE which some may find to be helpful.

RESOURCES :

Related Post :

Fighting Anxiety Can Worsen It’. Why Acceptance Works Better.’

Click here to read.

eBook :

depression and anxiety

Above eBook now available from Amazon for instant download. Click here.

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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Copyright 2017 Child Abuse, Trauma and Recovery

Crying Helps Re-Engagement With Authentic Feelings

Benefits Of Crying:

As a child, even well into my teens, I cried extremely frequently. Usually this was alone at home, but, on occasion, at my prep school (which I attended until I was eleven) I was removed from the class for crying (there was little compassion on offer from the teachers) when I was particularly upset about what was going on at home.

Once, even, to my acute embarrassment and shame (at the time), I started to cry (or quietly whimper) in a second year (now it would be called Year Eight)  English class at my secondary school when I was about thirteen, desperately trying to conceal this inconvenient outburst of emotion from both my teacher and classmates.

Also, at about fifteen years of age, I once even rushed upstairs at home after one of my frequent arguments with my family and shut myself in my bedroom wardrobe where I stubbornly and emphatically insisted upon remaining (not that anyone encouraged me to come out), sobbing copiously, for a not inconsiderable period of time. It is quite clear to me, and, presumably, will be to the reader, too, that my emotional development had been arrested at a much younger age.

William Wordsworth, in his poem ‘Ode : Intimations Of Immortality From Reflections On Early Childhood‘, refers to ‘thoughts  that  often lie too deep for tears‘ and, when one is especially afflicted by profound depression and/or traumatized, this line of poetry is often most apposite  – one simply becomes numbed and internally deadened by the sheer intensity of one’s chronic and unrelenting mental suffering. In such a condition, as a psychological defense, all feelings and emotions shut down ; however desperately one wants to cry, one is unable to do so.

Something deep in our soul is blocked or frozen.

Being Finally Able To Cry Can Be A Breakthrough Moment In The Process Of Recovery :

The psychotherapist, Pete Walker, in his excellent book entitled : Complex Trauma – From Surviving To Thriving, explains the benefits of crying in that finally being able to cry after a long period of emotional numbness (emotional numbness is a key feature of complex post traumatic stress disorder) can signify a major turning point in the recovery process, marking our re-engagement with our long suppressed feelings.

Relevant Research :

There also exists a body of research supporting the idea that crying is beneficial. For example, the biochemist, W. Frey, reports that crying helps to rid the body of chemicals that are produced by stress and, therefore, when we cry, by lowering the concentration of these chemicals within our biological system, we reduce our stress levels ; this not only makes us feel better mentally but also has physical benefits (for example, by lowering our blood pressure).

Also, research carried out by Gracanin et al at the University of  Tilburg in the Netherlands supports the idea that crying can improve mood.

Conclusion :

Unfortunately, males in our society are often discouraged from crying on the erroneous grounds that it is ‘weak’ or ‘unmanly’. In fact, though, crying can be of immense therapeutic value, particularly when one has been feeling emotionally ‘dead inside’ for a long period of time due to having experienced severe trauma.

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

 

 

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Anxiety And Its Link To The Imbalance Of 5 Key Neurotransmitters

 

anxiety neurotransmitters

We have seen from many other articles that I have published on this site that significant childhood trauma over a protracted period of time can adversely affect the brain’s physical development both in terms of its structure and function. One common result of this is that, as adults, we are more likely to suffer from an anxiety disorder (such as social anxiety, panic disorder or generalized anxiety disorder) than are those individuals who experienced a relatively stable upbringing (all else being equal).

Indeed, two very serious disorders associated with childhood trauma – borderline personality disorder (BPD) and complex post traumatic disorder (cPTSD) – both have anxiety as one of their most prominent symptoms.

Many individuals who suffer from anxiety take prescribed medication for it. This is because anxiety is linked to the imbalance of various neurotransmitters in the brain and medications can sometimes helpfully correct such imbalances (though, like any treatment for anxiety, they do not work equally well for everyone – indeed, in my own case, very few medications I have ever taken for anxiety have had any beneficial effect whatsoever).

What Are Neurotransmitters And What Is Meant By ‘Out Of Balance’?

The brain contains about 10 billion neurons (brain cells). Each of these can potentially communicate with 10,000 other neurons. This communication is carried out by the brain’s neurotransmitters and this communication gives rise to how we think, behave and feel.

When neurotransmitters become out of balance, it simply means that there is an excess or insufficiency of them being produced in the brain. The effect of such an imbalance can cause us problems relating to how we think, behave and feel.

In this article, I want to look at the main neurotransmitters in the brain that are found to be out of balance in those suffering from an anxiety disorder; they are :

  1. SEROTONIN
  2. DOPAMINE
  3. NOREPINEPHRINE
  4. GABA (gamma aminobutyric acid)
  5. GLUTAMATE

What Symptoms Are Caused By Imbalances Of The Above Neurotransmitters In The Brain?

I briefly describe these below :

  1. LOW LEVELS OF SEROTONIN CAN CAUSE : 

 

       2. LOW LEVELS OF DOPAMINE CAN CAUSE :

  • inability to feel pleasure (anhedonia)
  • loss of motivation
  • delusions / psychosis
  • obsession with detail / perfectionism

 

         3. HIGH LEVELS OF NOREPINEPHRINE CAN CAUSE :

  • impaired ability to think coherently / scattered thoughts
  • intense anxiety and restlessness
  • impending sense of doom
  • sense of extreme tension (both bodily and psychologically)
  • hyperarousal
  • feeling ‘wired’ and ‘jittery’
  • panic attacks

4. GABA :

  • when GABA works ineffectively it can cause panic attacks and can cause a

         5. GLUTAMATE imbalance which can, in turn, exacerbate an imbalance in other neurtransmitters

 

As stated above, medication prescribed to help correct the imbalance of neurotransmitters does not work equally well for everyone. Non-drug methods of treating anxiety which can be effective include :

  1. COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY (CBT)
  2. MINDFULNESS MEDITATION
  3. BREATHING EXERCISES
  4. HYPNOTHERAPY / COGNITIVE HYPNOTHERAPY

RESOURCES :

pack-beat-fear-anxietyBEAT FEAR AND ANXIETY

 

eBook:

depression and anxiety

Above eBook now available on Amazon for instant download. Click here or on image.

 

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

 

 

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Self-Hypnosis For Depression

 

self-hypnosis for depression

We have seen from many other articles that I have published on this site that those of us who have suffered significant childhood trauma are at increased risk of developing depression (as well as many other psychiatric conditions) in adulthood than those who had relatively happy and stable childhoods (all else being equal).

One method that can help to reduce feelings of depression, especially when used in conjunction with other therapies such as pharmacology and psychotherapy, is self-hypnosis.

One of the main prevailing theories of the cause of depression is that it arises due to imbalances in certain brain chemicals (called neurotransmitters), in particular serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine.

What Is The Function Of These Brain Chemicals?

 – Serotonin is thought to be involved with appetite, digestion, social behaviour, sexual desire, sexual function, sleep, memory and mood.

 – Norepinephrine is thought to be involved with the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response.

 – Dopamine is thought to play a very important role in internal reward-motivated behaviour (eg the pleasurable feelings generated by sex or a large gambling win).

In order to attempt to correct this chemical imbalance, and thus alleviate depressive symptoms, medications are frequently prescribed. Unfortunately, however, not everyone finds them effective.

Self-Hypnosis For Depression :

Another way to alter the brain’s chemical balance in those suffering from depression, research has shown, is by self-suggestion, as used in self-hypnosis, and by altering a person’s level of expectancy regarding their recovery (which plays a major role, of course, in the placebo effect); both of these phenomena have their foundations in the well known phenomenon of  mind-body connection.

Indeed, self-hypnosis for depression (utilizing self-suggestion) combined with psychotherapy and/or drug therapy may be a particularly effective way of alleviating depressive symptoms.

Depression can also be exacerbated by loneliness or due to poor relationships with significant others (an illustrative example of this is that, on average, married people are significantly less likely (some research suggests up to 70% less likely) to suffer from depression compared with their non-married counterparts; here, again, self-hypnosis can be of use in order to assist us to  improve our interpersonal relationships by, for example, helping to repair our disrupted unconscious processes, allowing us to be more able to give and receive love/affection, making us less withdrawn, and reducing tendencies to judge ourselves and others in an overly negative manner.

 

Self-Hypnosis Downloadable Audio MP3s:

 

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

 

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Shame And Its Agonizing Effects

As we have seen from other articles I have published on this site, those who suffer severe trauma in early life may go on to experience irrational, deep-seated feelings of shame in adulthood, particularly if they have developed conditions highly likely to be linked to their adverse childhood experiences such as clinical depression or borderline personality disorder (BPD).

Feelings of shame can be excruciatingly painful; at their worst, they can cause us to completely isolate ourselves so that we avoid contact with others to the extent that we may become virtual recluses, perhaps only daring to venture out of our house or flat when absolutely necessary. Indeed, the word ‘shame‘ derives from the Indian word ‘sham‘ which means ‘to hide.’

What Is Shame?

When we feel ashamed we feel very negatively about ourselves and believe we are, to put it simply, a deeply bad person. We also tend to assume that others are judging us in a similarly disparaging manner. The sensation of shame also frequently involves feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, incompetence, self-disgust, self-hatred, anxiety, anger, bodily tension, nausea and sweating/feeling too hot.

Effects On Relationships :

Because of our own jaundiced and self-lacerating view of ourselves, we assume others will feel the same way about us (or soon will do once they discover’ what a ‘horrible and disgusting’ person we are). We therefore avoid trying to form close relationships, believing such efforts to be futile given that we will ‘inevitably be rejected’ once the ‘real’ us is ‘discovered.’

Other Possible Effects Of Shame :

We may also try to psychologically defend ourselves from deep rooted feelings of shame. For example :

– we may become preoccupied with managing a superficial image of ourselves when interacting with others which we desperately hope will keep ‘our true badness‘ concealed; this can lead to the creation of a ‘false self’ which precludes any chance of authentic or meaningful interaction with others (in other words, we ‘become afraid to be who we are’).

   – perfectionism / ‘workaholism’ (in a desperate attempt to compensate for the profound inner feelings of inadequacy and inferiority that may accompany a pervasive sense of shame).’Workaholism’ and perfectionism are both extremely precarious ways of maintaining some semblance of self-respect and self-esteem as we tend to continually set ourselves targets which, inevitably, we sometimes fail to achieve. We are then highly vulnerable to suffering a catastrophic collapse in our sense of self-worth as it has not been built upon strong enough, nor sustainable, foundations.

Image result for shame

Differentiating Between Three Types Of Shame :

We can differentiate between three specific types of shame. These are :

1) INTERNAL SHAME

2) EXTERNAL SHAME

3) REFLECTED SHAME

I define these three types of shame below :

Internal Shame : this is a sense of shame we feel about ourselves

External Shame : this is when we perceive that others have a very low view of us which makes us feel ashamed

Reflected Shame : this is when we feel shame vicariously due to how someone else connected yo us has behaved, such as a family member or a member of a group with which we identify.

Often, a sense of internal shame and external shame co-exist within the same person. However, in the case of shame related to childhood trauma, we may (irrationally) feel a strong sense of internal shame even though we can accept that others are not negatively evaluating us as a result of what happened to us (i.e. there is an absence of external shame).

A POSSIBLE SOLUTION : COMPASSION FOCUSED THERAPY :

There is evidence to suggest that COMPASSION FOCUSED THERAPY may be of particular benefit to those suffering from distress connected to the experience of shame.

 

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE)

 

 

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Healthy Guilt Versus Unhealthy Guilt

healthy and unhealthy guilt

Healthy And Unhealthy Guilt :

Like all emotions, feelings of guilt evolved in humans for their ‘survival value.’ However, feeling guilty is (at minimum) an unpleasant sensation so what ‘survival value’, or, to put it simply, benefits, does the emotion bring?

The answer to this question is that healthy feelings of guilt motivate us to preserve our personal standards/morality/ethics which, in turn, makes our relationships with others more likely to thrive (e.g. our conscience makes it less likely we will treat others badly and risk losing them as allies/friends).

However, feelings of guilt can also be unhealthy and affect our lives adversely. Those of us who have suffered significant childhood trauma are particularly likely to experience unhealthy guilt which, unfortunately, often persists into adulthood. I provide some examples of how feelings of unhealthy guilt may develop below :

– a child whose parents divorce may irrational blame him/herself for this divorce

– a child whose parent dies may irrationally feel guilty moving on with his/her own life

– a child whose mother suffers from depression may irrationally feel guilty enjoying him/herself

– a child who is perpetually criticized and treated negatively by his/her parents may develop deep seated and pervasive feelings of irrational guilt that are likely to persist into adulthood in the absence of effective therapy.

WHAT ARE THE ADVERSE EFFECTS OF SUCH IRRATIONAL, UNHEALTHY GUILT?

  1. DISTRESS – this can range from the uncomfortable at one end of the spectrum to excruciating and paralyzing at the other.
  2. AN INABILITY PROPERLY TO FOCUS UPON ONE’S OWN NEEDS
  3. SELF-HATRED, EXTREMELY LOW SELF-ESTEEM, LACK OF CONFIDENCE
  4. FEELINGS OF SHAME – if we are made to feel guilty to a significant degree, and often enough, during childhood we can develop a constant, profound feeling of shame. [The difference between feelings of ‘guilt’ and feelings of ‘shame is that when we feel guilty we feel we’ve DONE something bad, but, when we feel shame, we feel that we ARE bad (i.e. intrinsically bad)]. Click here to read my article about How A Child’s View Of Their Own ‘Badness’ Is Perpetuated.
  5. POOR CONCENTRATION AND FOCUS (due to intrusive, guilt-ridden thoughts and ruminations)
  6. POOR PERFORMANCE AT SCHOOL OR WORK (linked to number 5, above)
  7. LOSS OF CAPACITY TO ENJOY LIFE / WON’T PERMIT ONESELF TO DO ENJOYABLE THINGS (due to feelings/beliefs along the lines of ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’ or ‘it would be morally wrong to enjoy myself’). Such feelings/beliefs can also be related to conscious or unconscious desires to punish oneself.

It can be seen, then, that, whilst ‘healthy guilt’ has benefits, ‘unhealthy guilt’ serves no beneficial purpose and is solely destructive.

THE LINK BETWEEN UNHEALTHY GUILT AND PSYCHIATRIC CONDITIONS :

Unhealthy guilt can be a symptom of certain psychiatric conditions such as depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Such guilt can be unremitting and overwhelming and, as such, should be treated by a relevantly qualified profession.

 Self-hypnosis MP3 – help alleviate feelings of guilt and shame. Click here.

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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Copyright 2016 Child Abuse, Trauma and Recovery

Hypnosis For Simple Phobias

hypnosis for simple phobias

Research shows that those who suffered significant trauma as children are at elevated risk of developing anxiety conditions as adults; simple phobias are one (amongst many) expression of such anxiety.

A simple phobia is an irrational fear of a single object, activity or situation (unlike complex phobias that may have multiple triggers, such as social phobia). The individual who has the phobia is fully aware that his/her phobia is irrational, but, despite this awareness, at the point of starting therapy has been unable to overcome it.

Research:

Whilst further research needs to be conducted on the effectiveness of hypnotherapy as a treatment for individuals suffering from simple phobias, several studies have shown it to be helpful (e.g. McGuinness, 1984; Rustvold, 1994).

How Is Hypnotherapy Used To Treat Simple Phobias?

One of the most effective ways of treating a simple phobia with hypnosis is to employ the method of desensitization and I explain the process below, using the example of arachnophobia (a phobia of spiders).

1) A deep sense of relaxation and safety is hypnotically induced in the patient.

2) The patient is instructed to visualize a small spider from a distance

3) The patient is instructed to visualize the same spider but from a closer distance

4) The patient is instructed to visualize an average sized spider from a distance

…etc…etc

The final stage might consist of the hypnotherapist instructing the patient to visualize picking a large spider up with a people piece of tissue paper and dropping it out of the window.

The idea is that at each subsequent stage the patient is gradually exposed, in imagination only, to increasingly, potentially anxiety-provoking ‘encounters’ with the spider. It is unnecessary for the patient to come into contact with a real spider.

Throughout the process, the client receives suggestions that s/he will feel relaxed, safe and in control.

When successful, this process has the effect of gradually and systematically ‘desensitizing’ the patient to spiders (ie causing the patient to stop responding fearfully to them in a way that is TRANSFERABLE TO REAL SITUATIONS).

Phobias, Logic And Reasoning:

Many individuals who suffer from phobias become frustrated that they are unable to overcome their phobia through logical and reasoned thinking given that they know their fear to be irrational; repeatedly telling themselves the object of their fears presents no threat or danger to them tends not to work which means cognitive based therapies may be unsuccessful.

When individuals try to cure their phobia by logic and reason they are using the brain’s left hemisphere.

However, the benefit of using hypnosis to treat phobias is that it taps into the brain’s right hemisphere and this side of the brain is involved in emotional processing, feelings, instincts and visualization, all of which hypnosis harnesses to help the individual overcome his/her phobia.

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

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Effects Of Homophobia In Schools

homophobia in schools

What Are The Effects Of Homophobia In Schools?

When I was about fifteen, I drew a heart in a notebook I kept on my desk in my bedroom and, within the heart, wrote ‘ I love…’ followed by the name of a boy in my year at school (complete with drawing of arrow piercing the heart, and, for good measure, a few dollops of blood seeping from the wound – yes, I know!)

Of course, I always kept the notebook shut and in a drawer, to keep it safe from prying eyes (as I naively believed at the time), concealed by other books, innocuous books placed on top of it.

Some weeks later, I arrived home from school (still never having even spoken to the boy – I was mysteriously struck dumb whenever in his presence), and, as was my habit, beat a hasty retreat to the solitude of my bedroom (to avoid having to interact with my stepmother who despised me).

Imagine my horror when I saw on my bed the notebook which I always so carefully kept concealed! And worse, oh, so much worse, open at the ‘incriminating’ page.

This was, of course, my stepmother’s handiwork (nobody else had been in the house all day) calculated to cause me maximum shame, humiliation and embarrassment. Well, It worked (and then some).

To make the matter even more sinister and insidious, she never mentioned it – nor, of course, did I. (Preferring, instead, to skulk around the house looking sheepish).

Her communication of the hatred she felt for me, epitomized by this both shameful, and shaming, incident, continued in its usual vein – tacitly, implicitly and by insinuation – making it impossible for me, as a callow young teenager, directly to identify or effectively defend myself against.

Indeed, if I attempted to, I would be accused of paranoia (this is a well known psychological technique known as gaslighting which undermines the victim’s sense of reality and can, when chronically sustained, eventually induce psychosis).

As teenagers we long to be accepted as part of the group, and, whilst things are much better than they were three decades ago when I myself was a teenager, teenagers today still, sadly, experience homophobia.

Needless to say, this discrimination, leading to exclusion from the group, can be very traumatic, particularly as being singled out due to something as sensitive as one’s sexuality can be especially devastating (teenagers are, after all , at a stage in their lives when they are especially self-conscious and in need of acceptance).

Homophobic Bullying Leading To Mental Suffering :

A recent study carried out by Benigui found that young people who experience homophobia, including discrimination, prejudice, bullying and verbal attacks, have elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol flowing in their blood streams and are at increased risk of suffering from anxiety and depression.

And, most concerningly, they are fourteen times more likely to commit suicide than the average person their age.

homophobia in schools

Internalization Of Anti-Gay Attitudes :

It is likely that one of the main reasons for these findings is the fact that these victimized young people internalize the negative views others express towards them. This can result in the young person becoming what is technically known as an ego-dystonic homosexual (i.e. his/her homosexuality causes him/her mental distress).

Resilience:

However, the study also found that the young person could develop resilience against the negative effects of homophobia if :

– s/he had good emotional support from friends

– good emotional support from family

Conclusion:

The main conclusion drawn from the study was that much work still needs to be done to increase acceptance of, and respect for, diversity in the home, at schools and in the community in general, notwithstanding the significant advances made over recent decades.

David Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE).

 

 

 

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